Usually the “ego” gets a bad rap. Like a cold, it’s seen as something you don’t have when you are well. Ego often is viewed as a false self, the self-absorbed and paranoid side of our personality. I certainly have reinforced this view over the years. But I now see that the ego is more of a doorway than a dead end.
And when you walk through the doorway of ego, you enter the realm of desire.
The notion of ego has been corrupted because of our distrust of desire. Desire can certainly get us in trouble when our lower ego dynamics are driving the bus. Because of this, desire has often been framed as dangerous, and the Christian tradition has been very wary of it, and lumped desire in with sin.
When our ego gets refined, desire transforms. Rather than being dangerous, it can become Divine. In fact, the contemplative traditions give a lot of attention to holy desire.
A healthy, developed ego helps us know what we love, puts us in touch with our unique hopes and dreams, and enables us to confidently pursue them. This ego cherishes itself. It is generous towards others and the world.
Holy desire can lead us to visit the sick, clean up clutter and create beauty in our home, devote time to a musical instrument or artistic craft, turn off the news and sit down for prayer, take the dog for a walk, or sing in the car.
The healthy ego becomes the pathway to joy, because it trusts that true desire, and the guidance the comes with it, stems from God. Viewed in this light, the earthly ego can be heavenly.
Speaking of heaven, a while back I found myself sitting in a vibrating chair. There were seven strangers to my left and four to my right - all women, and all of us were in our own little worlds. I was happily reading my sports page as my feet were being soaked, clipped, buffed and puffed. I thought to myself, “Hmm, my life has come to this: a pedicure and sports page, feminine and masculine, yin and yang.”
I was following my desire, and my ego was happy to be on such a fun little trip! And the stronger, and healthier my ego becomes, the more I follow my bliss, the more improbable and unconventional I get, and the more I like living in my own skin.
Here’s the paradoxical truth: Far from closing us down in “selfishness,” the awakened ego is empowered, bold, and gracious. It’s free to be quirky and loving in ways that our cautious, proper selves can’t imagine.
This journey into our expanding ego will be carefully explored in my up-coming, six session, 4th Way Presence & Practice Group. This is a 6-month small group focusing on deepening Presence and spiritual life through 3-Centered Awareness & the Enneagram. CLICK HERE for more information.
So yes, it’s time for an ego trip. Embrace rather than erase your ego, and ask yourself, “what new idiosyncrasy is my ego ready to spring on the world?”